Seems off late, nothing is on my mind. Some random songs. Some random dreams. Some random past tenses. The city no longer seems mine, rather nothing seems to be owned by me any more. Last evening, I was sleep-walking on streets of Bangalore - in particular MG and Brigade; as I tried hard to relate or re-live the good old days - 2003, when I first came here. Things are different now- radically; diagonally and laterally. As I saw some cafe, which I was a regular at, I remembered some old friends and some new smiles. It has been years - time changes. Well some one said it heals - I pretend that it changes ! I called up my best pal. A and then obviously I called my back-up T. and surprising for the first time, they both had same viewpoint. Live as it comes ! I mean theories established for imbalance do not usually work in tandem with irrational behaviour and psyche of human nature and mind. I quite oblivious to the obvious fact ? Or was I trying to recall my past with a perpetual frame of my mind's boredom?
Few steps ahead and the evening dawned upon over that once calm and now obnoxiously crowded street in Bangalore. It was not the way it used to look like. No cafes on side walk. No boulevard of bougainvilleas and definitely no couples on street benches. This city has changed for sure. I do not know what happened but then time happened and as they say time changes and I guess it does heal after the initial hurt.
It was late and I decided to head back home, a quick call here and there and some music on myipod, the evening closed down and the night sky caved in. It was cold and it had started to rain. No transportation and hence a struggle to go back home. Home ? Was this city really what I should or ideally I should call - home ?
I guess there is home where you chalk a plan and elevate any sort of elevation. That is home. Throw in some sheer curtains and ethnic durries and voila - one has space. I guess my space is what is my home. This city gave me my space - and hence maybe I say it was my home. As I pondered wondered contemplated and irritated my thoughts, I figured out the nearest road-side coffee vendor. Me, who usually hates untimely rains - loved them and saw them wet this city- gradually the city drowned in a subdued mist and I could see the traffic fading out.
An hour later - rather after spoiling my new leather shoes - I decided to wrap the day up. Few days more and I guess I would be heading to Mumbai. Home?
I guess my space is not defined by cities, curtains and local chaiwallas or pastawallas, my space lies in my suitcase. And that is my Home! as of now it goes by the name Samsonite Black Label by Alexander McQueen (and one in black ... please!)
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